To be in-between.

I wasn’t ready but it happened anyways.

I THOUGHT I was ready, I thought I had the “answers” I kept saying HERE or HERE on a map with my compass spinning around & around & around.

Where to, Sarah? The inner voice kept whispering…

WHO is speaking? Is this from fear or love?

I go inward & breathe – trusting THAT inner hummm to lead me towards my truth.

HOME: what does it mean to you?

Me? Yes, YOU!

Me – HOME means to me: everything. Freedom & safety. Work & rest. Cooking & baking. Clothes & nudity. Sex & safety. Baths & reading. Rooms & nooks & decorations – an expression of my TRUE SELF. I have had in the past one home that was my own & every corner was curated with the effervescence of my soul.

Yes, I was dying inside to hold the walls up.
Yes, I worried day & night about how to HOLD those walls up.
… & put food on the table.
… & keep unhealthy others at bay.

BUT IT WAS SAFE, you see, DON’T YOU SEE!!

Nowadays home calls from within my heart & I draw the layout of a house that’s been scripted in my DNA since before I came to human form. Trust, there is only God & trust here.

What comes next? As I look around my scattered space, home in boxes & bits tapped to the walls?

Trust. In my soul & being & calling – to allow the walls to be built from the INSIDE of my being out.

What work, can I do here & now? What can I “DO” in between?

Type. Write. Mars. Create – let it BIRTH. Let your fingers fly like horses on the wind as your mind shows you (oh Gemini Season) exactly what it IS that it wants to say!

But for now, darling Sarah, come back to here & now. Look around with eyes from the future & NOT from the here & now (I’m sorry what?)

VIEW this moment AS the being whom is leaving it. With reverence for the safety, with reverence for the changing tides. With a deep soul knowing – a twinkle in her eye!

It is all coming to a close (soooooon) I pray.

But for now – time has plateaued.

& I wait. & I wait.

As always,

SARAH