ONE Foot In | ONE Foot Out.
What the Clouds Teach Us.
Who decided that being “in the clouds” was so bad? That THIS… was a bad thing? Who said: “it” must be clear (always) & that confusion makes you weak?
WHO SAID – you must know all things at all times & have the full breadth of the path… here & now & forever?
WHO defined this… & why?
When I was a child, some of my most remembered & cherished days were spent daydreaming – laying in the grass in the back, back side yard & gazing up at the sky. Watching the clouds roll over me & making shapes of them. Speaking to them… as if they could hear me (they did).
The back back yard was the beyond – it was a portal to Jupiter & many other star systems. I visit there in my dreams from time to time & in my mind’s eye… sometimes.
It holds the safest, most wonderous & darkest of spaces in my being & home & memory.
The 90s really were that special. Not always perfect! But very special… just saying.
But back to here & now & this space called XII: the Hanged Man… the in-between. One foot in, one foot out. Body here & now & mind spinning like a compass. Where is North (it is south).
I was waiting for clarity to find me, like an expected visitor with an undefined time of arrival. I would check my calendar (where are they?) & ponder – quietly – what might they bring?
What might come to me when clarity arrives? JOY – HAPPINESS – DIRECTION – [something else unexplained] unnamed… & confusing.
This day, this morning I woke up before the dawn, the day I had said: CLARITY IS COMING & I will welcome her with open arms. She holds in her arms, the basket of my next arrival – the tune to my song – the pointing of my compass (south, she’s whispered… but where?).
When I awoke, clarity arrived first thing, answering ONLY the question I had given her for this day, this Solstice Day. She didn’t wait, she didn’t linger, she answered me & left… left me with a yearning for home & a feeling that does not come from the outside. It must birth from the root, the center of all beings… it must come from your heart, Sarah. Keep your heart open, Sarah.
I knew this would happen, somewhere in my bones. Like the Mastering MARS launch date – the outside will NEVER sooth the in. What I see & seek is always, was always & will always BE inside of me. The clouds in my minds eye wrap around my body & being. Encasing me in a view the 2 of Swords would wink at.
Today, of all days, I now go inward. As it is STILL before the dawn. I sit with self & prepare for a day of self-talk & channeling. I am ready, I am open, I am willing – I trust the clouds & steady onward. Trust (darling, Sarah) breath – it’s coming. Whatever you seek… seeks you. But it is not (yet) an “out there” but an inside that home resides. Trust your heart & feet. Go, my dear… go go go.
& keep your heart open (always).